In part one I talked about how people want the magic bullet solution to their problems and I opinioned that you are the magic bullet! Since you are the one who creates your reality, you are the one who can change it! And as you know you cannot change anyone else so stop this fruitless exercise.
Why You Need to Acknowledge Your Beliefs.
Beliefs are habitual and the more you repeat them the more you believe them, negative or positive. Remembering that you were not born with your beliefs and that you’ve learned them provides you with the empowered perspective you need to change them.
You can only change what you acknowledge exists. Acknowledge your beliefs for what they currently are. Changing a belief may be physically uncomfortable as well as emotionally painful (such as quitting an addiction).
Fear is a Belief.
Unless it is a threat to your existence, fear itself is generally self-created. As humans we tend to fall into the “what if” syndrome. “What will happen if I try this and it doesn’t work?” “What will happen if I don’t do that?” We can “what if” ourselves into being afraid and stuck.
Somewhere along the way you learned to be afraid. If you hadn’t learned this belief you wouldn’t even know to do it. Fear is a belief.
Getting out of the “what if” syndrome.
All of your feelings, emotions, memories, beliefs, experiences, thoughts, (remember it’s all about beliefs) create your reality. I know it can be a challenge to change your beliefs so how about just broadening your perspective?
Below is a short version of an exercise I do with my clients to broaden their perspective and change the “what if” thoughts.
- Describe the problem out loud as if you were explaining it to a friend, including how it makes you feel (frustrated, disappointed, anxious, etc.).
- Say to yourself “how else can I look at this problem or challenge?” or “what can I do to change the situation?”
- Repeat the above questions until you come up with 4 or five different perspectives (possible solutions). They don’t even have to be realistic (in fact sometimes it’s better if they are not). It’s simply to open up your mind to the possibilities so you can stretch beyond your blocks.
Persistence and Courage.
Now it is time to take a journey. This journey is to a special place within you. It is to your place of strength, courage, wisdom and empowerment, and also your pain.
You will come to the edge of this pain and fear and wonder if you can step into it. You may waiver…it is the place you most want to avoid going. Persist. This is the hardest part. Inch a bit closer. Enter the place that scares you most.
Your mind may tell you it’s too hard or it may even trick you into believing you’ve already done the work (hint: if the problem still exists, you have work to do). Persist. Talk yourself through it. Slip into the feelings and let them envelope you until your pain, discomfort and fear begin to subside. You can do it!
It may feel like you have climbed a mountain! You can now finally look at this challenge for what it was; a belief you once held that is no longer your reality. You have consciously changed the habitual belief and this changes your present and future.
You may be working with an old, old pattern and you will likely have to repeat the above process (maybe several times). It can be very hard at times. I get it; I’ve been there. Know this, the excuses or doubts are fear in disguise. You have the courage, power and persistence to get where you want to be. You will face what’s waiting on the other side when you get there and not before. Make this your new belief!